Loren—
Yeah, I’m detangling them. My hair is very long now, apparently.
I don’t understand why you are already taking them out; didn’t you say you were ready for the commitment of dreads?
I kept them seven months, didn’t I? && I needed to. It was time. They represented a person that I no longer am, so I’m letting them go.
But you wanted them for at least years. I just don’t understand how someone can change into a completely different person in two months. Those dreads were the only permanent thing that I had to do with you.
Shouldn’t friendship be more permanent than a hairstyle? But I guess that’s just life.
And I didn’t simply just decide, “Oh, lol, I’ll be a different person now haha yay.” It was more of a cataclysmic meltdown followed by a really raw, in your face reality check. I have to put myself back together now, and the only way I think I can do that successfully is by removing as much of my old skin as possible.
My dreads were a reminder of my old life. You as my best friend, being in love with Andre, carving out a life together. And all that is gone now, so my dreads should be too.
I’m trying to learn how to be on my own. How to depend on myself and not be afraid of silence. Removing my dreads is helping with with that.
I hope you can understand now.
Don’t you find things that represent friendship?
I thought you were happy with what happened :o You said you were doing better than Andre was. And you said it was all for the better and that you were more happy!
It’s not the dreads that I am upset about, it’s the fact that our friendship is completely nonexistent now. But I know for a fact it wasn’t my fault that this started, but it sucks so much.
I mean, things are getting a LOT better for me, but seeing things like this punches a hole through my heart.
Wow, well, I’m so happy things are better for you.
&&I don’t really know where to begin explaining this to you. I am happy, to an extent. Like, I wouldn’t want to change any of this. I’m growing as a person as we speak. But it’s painful and it’s fucked up but that’s just a part of it all. I went up, now I’ve come down. Way down. &with knowledge of my past, you’d know that it’s pretty typical of me to crash and burn after a period of over exaggerated bliss.
It’s nobody’s fault. I don’t even know what that has to do with anything. But, no offense, you didn’t reach out to me at all. It takes two to tango, sister, and you fell off the face of the earth.
Also, my body will never represent anything other than myself.
It’s kind of frustrating how naive you’re being.
Okay then, I’ll stop talking to you. Thanks for your friendship.
WHY ON TUMBLR?!!??!?!??!?!!!!??
We don’t talk anywhere else.
(Source: sohocarrot)
